Questions to Ask Adoptive Parents

What to Ask Adoptive Parents (And What Not to Ask)

If you think you’ve found a potential adoptive family for your baby, you’ll have an opportunity to talk with these prospective adoptive parents, get to know what they’re like and ask them questions.

This first time talking with adoptive parents can be nerve-wracking, and you may feel like you’re not sure what kind of questions to ask prospective adoptive families. The best thing you can do is to start the conversation off with simple, fun questions about themselves.

Getting to know potential adoptive parents can feel a bit like you’re on a first date. So, it might help you to follow the rules you’d stick to if you were on a first date: keep the conversation light and avoid anything too heavy at first; be polite, positive and encouraging; and get them talking about themselves.

Good questions to ask prospective adoptive parents could include:

  • What’s your neighborhood like?
  • Do you have any pets?
  • What do you like to do on the weekend?
  • What’s your favorite thing to do together?
  • What’s your favorite family memory?
  • Do you have a personal connection to adoption?
  • What do you think will make you a good parent?
  • What are your favorite qualities in each other?
  • Do you plan to return to work after adopting a baby, or will one of you be a stay-at-home parent?
  • What kind of relationship do you envision having with me after the adoption?
  • What was your favorite memory from your own childhood?
  • What are your families like?
  • Are there any activities, places or experiences that you hope to share with your child?
  • How would you describe your parenting methods?
  • What do you do to make each other laugh?

Even just asking about their favorite sports teams, hobbies, or favorite foods might reveal that you have a lot in common! Talking with adoptive parents can help you to feel more comfortable around them and about the adoption in general.

It’s amazing how much you can learn about someone’s personality and about what’s important to them by asking simple, casual questions. Something they say may “click” with you, and you’ll have a gut feeling that this is the ideal adoptive family for your baby.

Questions not to ask adoptive parents include:

Any comments or questions related to money

It’s the responsibility of the adoption professional mediating the conversation to handle any questions about money, so if you have any questions or concerns about adoption finances, you should bring it up with them in private. Finances should not be discussed with the prospective adoptive family.

Any comments or questions related to infertility

Infertility is an emotional subject for many couples looking to adopt a baby in Florida. And it’s possible that the prospective adoptive couple is able to have biological children, but they feel like adoption is the right way for them to build their family. Either way, steer clear of asking questions about infertility or an inability to have biological children.

Any questions that you wouldn’t want a stranger to ask you

In your first time talking with adoptive parents, you shouldn’t ask anything that you wouldn’t want someone who just met you to ask you about. For example, you wouldn’t want to share your last name, your place of employment, home address or cell phone number with someone that you just met for the first time. Keep your questions a little more general and just try to get to know what they’re like as a couple and what kind of family they’d be for your baby. However, if you choose to have a more open adoption, as many people do, these topics may come up naturally later on as you both become more comfortable with each other.

Bryan can help you decide what to ask adoptive parents and help connect you with prospective adoptive families that best match the vision you have for your adoption. To start searching for the perfect adoptive parents for your child, you can call Bryan at 727-398-0086.