Placing Your Child with a Family Member
It is not uncommon for a woman facing an unplanned pregnancy to give her baby to a family member for adoption. Kinship adoptions, as they are called, are actually quite common and many families have found benefits in it.
Kinship adoptions are great for some families, but may not work for everyone. Here are a few things you should consider before beginning the process.
Prior Bond with Adoptive Parents
One great benefit of a kinship adoption is the fact that you already know the adoptive parents. You have had plenty of time to get to know them, you have likely seen them interact with children, they may have even raised you or babysat you. When you know so much about the adoptive parents it is easier for you to feel at ease placing your child in their care.
Frequent Contact with Child
Since you are placing your child with family members, you will likely get to see him or her at family functions. You may be able to see your child on holidays, at birthday parties, at family reunions or at a cookout. Plus, you won’t be reliant on photos and letters to see how your child is doing, you will be able to interact with him or her on a regular basis.
However, it is important that you consider the emotional ramifications of the proximity to your child. Will you be able to handle seeing your child being parented by someone other than you? Will it bring up feelings of sadness to see him or her at family functions? Just as it can be hard to have your child live across the country from you, it can also be hard to have your child live across the street from you.
Parental Roles and Boundaries May be Confused
Being in such close proximity to your child and having frequent contact with him or her can create a confusion of boundaries. You may find yourself wanting to correct the parenting styles of his or her adoptive parents. You may find yourself wanting a bigger role in the child’s life that the adoptive parents aren’t comfortable with. Take the time now to talk about these things. Talk about the things that you are and aren’t comfortable with and set boundaries now so everyone knows their role in the relationship.
This is a Permanent Decision
Often times, women think that placing a child for adoption with a family member is a temporary situation. However, a kinship adoption can only be reversed under extremely rare circumstances. If you hope to parent your child later on, you should instead consider a temporary guardianship.
Whether you want to parent your child later or not, it is important to communicate with your relatives openly and honestly from the beginning.
If you are interested in placing your child for adoption with a family member, please do not hesitate to contact Bryan for assistance.